Michelle Obama and Let's Move!

 

Michelle Obama, First Lady of the United States, launched the Let’s Move! Program in 2010, in an effort to decrease the number of overweight and obese children.  Statistics had shown that the obesity rate was increasing and this was a concern to her as a parent, as well as a public figure.  She commissioned a comprehensive report that not only described the present health status of our nation’s children but provided specific plans in the areas recommended for improvement.   

The subject of childhood obesity has been discussed and analyzed in many different places—newspapers, magazines, tv, doctor’s offices.  We are constantly being reminded that our children are out of shape, not eating right, and their future may be compromised. Let’s Move! takes a collaborative approach to this goal of reducing childhood obesity by attempting to include schools, parents, educators, and community leaders.  No other program or initiative has ever been so cohesive and organized in its efforts.  

While it is too soon to analyze the long-term effects of this program, I feel confident that this program will be effective and that Michelle Obama will long be remembered as the initiator of this very important program.  Certainly, she saw a need in this country to solve a health problem (and ultimately an economic problem as well) but I feel like it was the ‘mother’ in her that provided the great motivation to make a difference in children’s lives.  Her easy-going and encouraging style comes across every time she speaks of this initiative and it is readily apparent that she is passionate about this subject.  I greatly admire what she has done and look forward to seeing our childhood obesity rates decrease as a result of her efforts. 

Reference:

Let's Move. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.letsmove.gov/

 

Whose Responsibility is it?

 

My 18 year-old daughter has strong feminist views and we often discuss her opinions - many of which have given me insight into assignments for my classes.  When I told her about this assignment, she was appalled and asked me why a Women’s Health course would ask how a woman could prevent her assault instead of asking why violence against women happens. She told me that the idea that rape is “preventable” is a form of victim- blaming and promotes the idea that women should live a fear-based lifestyle in order to reduce their risk of assault.  Needless to say, we have had some spirited discussions this week about this and she has provided me with quite a bit of reading material.  Because I feel that this is such an important topic, I have imbedded the links within this blog rather than just the reference list at the end.

 

Assault happens on a daily basis, and it is not because women aren’t careful enough.  The women who are careful, who play by the unwritten rules that should protect them, are the ones who are called liars or blamed for being “too drunk”, “too promiscuous”, or “not careful” because, of course, she’s the one who should have known better. Not the one who cornered her on the street or in the bedroom they share (because assault is not exclusive to a stranger in a dark alley). “What were you wearing?” is a question that often comes first, before “Who was he?”. 

 

The truth of our culture is that no amount of modest clothing, alcohol monitoring, or buddy systems can eradicate assault because the problem is not with the women who are the victims.  The problem lies in the rape culture that permeates throughout our society in every way - from the media we watch, that exemplifies street harassment while implying respect for women is out of character and discusses the “bright futures” of brutal rapists, to the legal system we trust to bring criminals to justice, who gave a slap on the wrist to those same rapists, and the education system that covers up rape and teaches our children that “boys will be boys” and girls have to adhere to dress codes so that they don’t “distract” those boys (my 12 year old daughter included).  Self-control is not taught early, but victim blaming is.  Those boys-who-will-be-boys grow up to be men who don’t respect the boundaries of women, who glorify rape, that “no means yes”, who don’t understand consent as a result of the abstinence-only sex ed programs throughout the country, and who believe the many, many myths about rape.  The strangers in the alley probably know that they’re rapists, but the drunk college boy on top of the silent/crying/unconscious girl, the girl who didn’t say “no” (but also didn’t say “yes”), usually don’t.

I wouldn’t want to imply that being careful is a bad thing, or unnecessary, but I think every woman taking this class knows all the rules.  I don’t need to write a blog post with statistics and a list of tips on “How to Prevent Assault” from a governmental organization because it’s not like we haven’t heard it all since before we started our periods.  We know to be with trusted friends, not drink too much, wear modest clothing. But changing our lifestyle based on a fear of assault is limiting to women and it’s not going to bring down the numbers.  We are not the cause.  We are not the perpetrators.  We are the victims who live in a society that blames us when we are attacked, and we are silenced (or ignored) when we try to report it.  We don’t need to “prevent rape”.  We need to take these opportunities to examine our culture and attitudes that result in violence against women, and we need to teach boys and men what it is and why it’s wrong before assault and rape even happens.

 

 

 

 

 

References

Anonymous. (2014, March 31). Dear Harvard: You win [Editorial]. The Harvard Crimson. Retrieved April 5, 2014, from http://www.thecrimson.com/article/2014/3/31/Harvard-sexual-assault/

Bonus, A. (2010, October 18). Fraternity pledges' chant raises concerns at Yale. Retrieved April 5, 2014, from http://www.cnn.com/2010/US/10/18/connecticut.yale.frat.chant/

Chemaly, S. (2012, October 26). 50 actual facts about rape. Retrieved April 5, 2014, from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/soraya-chemaly/50-facts-rape_b_2019338.html

Courier, M. (2013, April 3). Society teaches "don't rape" instead of "don't get raped" In Cultivating Culture. Retrieved April 5, 2014, from http://www.cultivatingculture.com/2013/04/03/defining-and-assessing-rape-culture-in-the-united-states/

Hoffer, S. (2014, January 06). Ma'Lik Richmond, convicted Steubenville rapist, released from juvenile detention. Retrieved April 5, 2014, from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/06/malik-richmond-released_n_4548328.html?utm_hp_ref=steubenville-rape

Horzepa, H. R. (2011, April 22). Victim blaming: An all-too-common response to sexual assault. Retrieved April 5, 2014, from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/hayley-rose-horzepa/victim-blaming_b_847310.html

Liebelson, D. (2014, February 16). Montana prosecutor allegedly told mother of 5-year-old sexual-assault victim that "boys will be boys" Mother Jones. Retrieved April 5, 2014, from http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2014/02/missoula-montana-sexual-assault-justice-department-report

Myths & truths about rape. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://rapecrisis.org.za/rape-in-south-africa/myths-stereotypes-about-rape/

Ross, W. (2013, March 18). CNN feels sorry for Steubenville rapists; world can’t believe its ears. Retrieved April 5, 2014, from http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/03/18/cnn-feels-sorry-for-steubenville-rapists-world-can-t-believe-its-ears.html

Smith, M. D. (2014, March 27). Snickers’ hunger-induced street harassment. Retrieved April 5, 2014, from http://feministing.com/2014/03/27/snickers-hunger-induced-street-harassment/

Strasser, A., & Culp-Ressler, T. (2013, May 6). How ‘Slut Shaming’ Has Been Written Into School Dress Codes Across The Country. Retrieved April 5, 2014, from http://thinkprogress.org/health/2013/05/06/1969001/slut-shaming-dress-codes/

Stuart, H. (2013, November 25). Steubenville Grand Jury investigation: Four more school employees indicted. Retrieved April 5, 2014, from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/25/steubenville-grand-jury-investigation_n_4337646.html?utm_hp_ref=steubenville-rape

10 top tips to end rape [Digital image]. (n.d.). Retrieved April 5, 2014, from http://www.rapecrisisscotland.org.uk/campaigns/10-top-tips-to-end-rape/

Testa, J. (2014, March 12). Sexual assault survivors answer the question “what were you wearing when you were assaulted?”. Retrieved April 5, 2014, from http://www.buzzfeed.com/jtes/sexual-assault-survivors-answer-the-question-what-were-you-w

"Top 10 Ways to Get Away With Rape" list found in Ohio college dorm. (2012, October 15). Retrieved April 5, 2014, from http://www.cbsnews.com/news/top-10-ways-to-get-away-with-rape-list-found-in-ohio-college-dorm/

Web info on sexual assault and abuse. (n.d.). Retrieved April 5, 2014, from http://www.uic.edu/depts/owa/sa_rape_support.html

Westman, T. M. (2012, September 11). Adventures in abstinence only education: Consent [Web log post]. Retrieved April 5, 2014, from http://prochoicewashington.wordpress.com/2012/09/11/adventures-in-abstinence-only-education-consent/

What rape culture means. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://act.weareultraviolet.org/act/rape_culture_infograph

 

Find the Blessings

Mother with her jewelry for sale at
the retirement home craft fair

My mother at the Christmas Tea



Over the last ten years, my 82-year old mother has had three unrelated cancers (with surgeries/radiation, etc. for each), major heart surgery (quadruple bypass), many other minor heart surgeries (stents, pacemaker, etc.), a major car accident with broken arm and leg (requiring surgeries and plates/pins, etc.).   She has been hospitalized twice with bleeding ulcers and twice for congestive heart failure and once for a near-fatal anemia due to a reaction to a heart medication.  During that hospitalization, she broke her hip and had to go to rehab for a month.  One time, she was merely walking down the hall and suddenly felt something break in her pelvic area (broken sacrum).  Didn’t fall but couldn’t move and fortunately had an alert button to summon help.  Spent another month in the rehab hospital.  Currently, she is being treated for pulmonary hypertension, a failing heart valve, and severe sleep apnea.  And if that’s not enough, she has an extremely large ventral hernia that no surgeon will repair because of her severe heart disease.   THIS IS ALL IN TEN YEARS!

Given all that, it has been said that my mother must have nine lives, like a cat!  She just keeps moving forward despite all of her health setbacks.  But at this point, it’s the PAIN and DEPRESSION that are the most debilitating in her life.  The chronic pain comes from her back, hips and pelvic area which is most likely a side effect from the pelvic radiation she received during her last cancer treatments.  We were told it was a possibility but she had an extremely rare and aggressive (1 in 500 in the world) so we gave the go-ahead for radiation just to save her life.  Unfortunately, she was left with crumbling bones – a ‘perfect storm’ of the effects of this type of radiation, osteoporosis not uncommon in women her age, and the inability of her bones to heal because of her advanced age.

 
Living with chronic pain each and every day is almost too much to bear for my mother.  There is no real escape from it.  She takes pain medication just to be able to walk (albeit with a walker) but is frustrated because she can’t do what she wants to do.  Her mind is all there but her body is failing her.  She wants to be able to go and do and see and have fun but she hurts--ALL.THE.TIME.  And then the depression starts to take over.  She feels isolated because she has to limit her activities.  Everything revolves around the pain and the depression.  Many days, they rule, despite what she tries to do to ignore their continuous presence.   Her doctors tell her that she is cancer-free but the pain and depression want to tell her otherwise and she is anxious that cancer has returned.

Yes, her doctors are aware of all of this.  We see many doctors and there is at least one doctor’s appointment every week (I’m an expert on waiting rooms).  She is on some pretty heavy pain medications (even tried a morphine patch several weeks ago and it didn’t take the pain away, just made her ‘foggy’) as well as an anti-depressant with pain management built into it.  I wish I could tell a story of success in dealing with a chronic illness but I don’t know if this is one.  Unless, of course, I consider the blessings here:  She still has her mind.  She’s still able to walk – slowly and carefully.   She’s in a really nice assisted living facility not a nursing home.  She has a boyfriend (how cool is that!  5 years!) who takes her out to dinner most nights.   She likes to make jewelry and people love to buy or be gifted her creations.  She loves to read and still has her eyesight.  She lives down the street from my family and prays for us daily.  Her faith is strong.  She has friends.  She is still here.   Perhaps, it’s these basic things we need to designate as ‘success’.  The daily grind may be difficult but the bigger picture reveals the blessings.

 

My mother with her boyfriend, Howard



"The Talk"

 

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but the necessity of having “THE Talk” is a myth.   Don’t get me wrong, having a discussion with your son or daughter about sex is absolutely a necessity but it should never be just ONE talk.  This should be an on-going, continuous conversation and should take place wherever and whenever the opportunity arises.  It should never be left to others - their friends, the Internet, TV.  You, as a parent, are in a unique position to impart healthy attitudes about sex with your children and it can’t be done in only one conversation.

I am the parent of a pre-teen daughter as well as an 18-year old daughter and 23-year old son.  I have had the privilege of having on-going discussions with all three of them.  Yes, it can be uncomfortable and a little scary but I am grateful that they will ask me questions or at least listen to me when I need to tell them something.  They trust me to answer their questions, no matter what, and trust is a great thing to have with your kids.  Sometimes when they have asked a question, I have asked why they want to know.  This allows me to clarify what exactly they are asking or maybe what someone else has told them.  After I answer the question(s), I will usually ask them if they want me to continue.  I only give them as much information as they are comfortable with at that time but I always, always tell them that I am available for more questions whenever they want.

 I haven’t used books up to this point but will with my last child.  One book that I would recommend to other parents is by Robie Harris entitled, It’s Perfectly Normal, Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex and Sexual Health. (2014). This book is geared to the 10-year old (and older) and goes into great detail about our bodies and has been updated to include relevant information on STD’s and AIDS.  The illustrations are realistic and the nude pictures may make you cringe at first until you realize that this is LIFE, this is real, and our bodies are really very amazing. Your kids might as well get accurate information and this book seems to give great info.   For children younger than age 10, Robie Harris has written another book titled, It’s So Amazing!:  A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families (2014).

 Body parts and mechanics encompass the easy (yes, I said 'easy') part of having a talk or talks with your child.  There is so much ‘out there’ on TV, media and even the commercials, that your children would have to be in a cave to miss all that is being thrown at them.  But it’s the attitudes about sex and their bodies that are the most important issue to address.  For me, my children have always been told that sex is a miracle and a gift.  And like any gift, it must be treated with respect and regarded as something very special and unique.  They should be taught this from the very beginning.

 A year ago, I ran across a blog written by a Christian writer called Faith and Feminism (Anderson, 2013).  It talked about the Purity Movement within Christian congregations (and other faiths as well) and the attitude of just saying no and how sex was somehow shameful (Anderson, 2013).  The writer disagreed with this attitude and felt like there was “so much effort and energy telling people to say ‘no’ that we’ve not equipped them with how to say ‘yes’ ”.  These ‘no’ sentiments may be well-meaning in their intent but not very realistic.  As such, Ms. Anderson eschews an attitude of teaching “healthy approaches and attitudes to sex first”.  At that point, the conversation can lead to whether or not it is more appropriate in a marriage environment only and can empower them to make the best decisions for themselves. 

Ms. Anderson went on in a subsequent blog post to discuss consent (2013).  I don’t want to paraphrase her words because I feel like they are so strong and I would not be able to do them justice:

          “Consent is not “well, he didn’t say no’.

Consent is not “I guess so”.

Consent is not given from someone too drunk to stand.

Consent is not something wrung from someone after weeks of badgering.

Consent is not “giving in”.

Consent is an enthusiastic, unequivocal yes. 

Consent is asking permission every, single time because consent given once is not consent given for all of time.

It needs to be assumed that people’s bodies are in a state of “don’t touch” until they give you the green light to do so.”

Certainly, some discussions are more appropriate as your child gets older.  'Consent' is not something I want my pre-teen or adolescent thinking she is ready for, but for my 18-year old, about-to-go-away-to-college, daughter, these have been good conversations to have.   Because we have had a continuing conversation from early on, it hasn't been difficult to discuss in her junior high/high school years.  Bottom line is, I want my children to feel empowered for themselves but also have that respect for others and their decisions.  Again, talking about body parts and the mechanics of sex is easy…it’s that healthy, mature attitude towards sex that I want to instill and is so much more important.

 

References

Anderson, D. E. (2013, February 14). No touching: Consent as the first step [Web log post]. Retrieved February 7, 2014, from http://diannaeanderson.net/blog/2064

Anderson, D. E. (2013, February 12). Rejecting the premise: Questions of sex and sin [Web log post]. Retrieved February 7, 2014, from http://diannaeanderson.net/blog/2052/

Harris, R. H. (2014). It's perfectly normal: Changing bodies, growing up, sex, and sexual health. S.l.: Candlewick Press.

Harris, R. H. (2014). It's so amazing!: A book about eggs, sperm, birth,babies, and families. S.l.: Candlewick Press.

 

 

   

 

Work Outs and the “Resolutioners”

Recently, my niece and her friends, who are all much younger than I am (20-somethings), were griping on Facebook about the irritating “resolutioners” who had descended on their fitness centers during the first weeks of January.   They were bothered by these people that they assumed would merely give up in a few weeks and were just crowding those that were serious about their workouts.  I saw their posts but then realized that among my peers, those in their 40’s and 50’s, no one was speaking of their fitness centers or their workouts on Facebook.  Since I don’t go to a fitness center, I asked my niece about why she was working out.  She said that she and her friends wanted to look good in their clothes and feel sexy.  She added that most everyone in her workouts were younger and generally in good shape already, and were just trying to maintain their physical fitness level.

Certainly, looking good and feeling sexy is a valid reason for anyone, at any age, to want to work out and be healthy.  But in my age group, 50+, we may be experiencing other health issues because we’re getting older.  Our efforts at improving our health and being physically active seem to be different than those in their 20’s.  We may be struggling with menopause and a slowing metabolism.  Our knees and backs are starting to give us trouble.  So instead of our first priority being to look good/feel sexy, we just want to feel better.  We want our energy to return that starts to wane at this age.   Our doctors have told us to watch our cholesterol and our blood pressure.  And so, we are the ones out walking or taking a yoga class while those much younger might be taking a spin class or running marathons.  (It’s not to say that those in their 50’s aren’t participating in these events but their numbers aren’t as great as younger age groups.)

As stated above, she spoke of how her friends were already in pretty good shape and going to a fitness center meant that getting/keeping in shape was attainable.   She felt that people who were overweight and older might feel self-conscious going to her health club.  They might feel that it wasn’t attainable for them and that it was ‘too late’.  I can honestly say that I have felt that way – I’m overweight and past menopause and losing weight is really tough.  I am intimidated at times by others and don’t want to be seen in workout clothes.  This is a common feeling among those my age.   So for all of you who are young, thin, and sexy, take pity on those of us who aren’t anymore.  We want to be like you again!  (Actually, we want to know what we know now, but want to look like we did way back when!)

Introduction

My name is June Deibel.  I am a senior Health Studies/Pre-OT major and take a combination of online and on-campus classes.  I am considered a non-traditional student in that I am an older student at 50+.  I joke that this is my mid-life crisis but I truly believe that it is never too late!  We have three children (23, 18, and 11), and I also work and take care of my elderly mother. Even with these responsibilities, I have still been able to return to school to fulfill my dream of finishing my degree and working in healthcare.  I feel incredibly blessed to have this opportunity even though the “juggling” is sometimes a bit challenging. 

I suppose being an older student is what makes me unique in these classes.  Despite feeling a bit panicked on the first days of my first semester back (that feeling of “what-are-you-doing-here-June!”), it has turned into an exhilarating experience. 

My ultimate goal is to be an Occupational Therapist primarily because of my experiences with my mother’s many illnesses over the last 8 years.  The ability to enhance someone’s well-being and improve their quality of life would be such a rewarding experience and one in which I feel I am well-suited.  I have observed and researched many different areas of healthcare and because I seem to always be in a hospital/doctor’s office with my mom, I have been able to talk to many professionals in all areas of healthcare.  Over time, I have come to realize that my interests go beyond assisting in a person’s basic health needs but in playing an instrumental role in improving their daily life and activities.  I met an OT once that really took that to heart and while she certainly was assisting her patients in mastering the basics of daily activities that they needed, she was also helping them regain their ability to do the things they loved, i.e. playing the harp, sewing, knitting, golfing.  I love to sew and I know that, for me, if I had a therapist that could help me regain that capability after a stroke or an accident, I would be eternally grateful.  That’s when you know that the healthcare worker is seeing “YOU”, not just a body, or an arm or a leg and not just a patient’s name on a chart.  I want to be that type of professional – that “sees” and “hears” what a patient really wants.

I am looking forward to this class and learning more about Women's Health.